I'll never be sane.. but I'm okay with that...
I rather transform
I rather jump and see if I can fly.

It's been months since I've played Fallout 3. What's wrong with me? X-D

I'm not made of stone...
why do I try to convince myself I am?

I hate the world for whats its worth.
I can't relate to most humans.
so I sit here and just observe them.

I mostly hate myself for not being able to find any connection..
and my lack of inspiration and motivation are upsetting..

why do I cage myself in?

most people would tell me
"you're a beautiful girl you shouldn't be so angry or sad"
and I just want to spit in their face as I fake a smile.
what do my looks have to do with my given situation?
I'm as "pretty" as I make myself to be.
looks fade anyway..

I've find it easier to pretend like everything is ok.
Keeping my mind distracted from what I am neglecting inside myself is a lot easier.
but I can't help but feel like I'm poisoning myself.
I seriously lack an outlet.. which is probably why I'm typing this fucking entry.
I can't find anyone to even listen and take me seriously anymore..
all I hear is you're young and pretty blah blah blah

this doesn't help the fact that I'm lonely and lack human attention..
sigh ..I have the overwhelming urge to delete my photos.. later
low self esteem and self loathing just totally rocks.

this brings a brand new day..
finally I have crawled free from this cocoon I have created
and to finally feel the sunshine on my colorful wings is heavenly

I'm finally so happy to be here today.
Now maybe things won't be so bad.


I'm beyond words by now....